~ scattered.. // eleven minutes.. ~
it's not to say i'm sad..i'm not..i'm OK..that meaning i'm neither sad nor happy..i guess i'm just fine..in the gray area..somewhere in between..yeah, i guess those are the right words to describe the feeling..even though i don't think i could really describe how i'm feeling right now..
anyway, on other things..i had just finished reading the book paulene lent me.. Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho..i loved it, actually (much thanks, peebs! :p)..it was one of the things that at least gave me some sort of light to fight the dullness i was feeling the past week..everything in that book was so alive as i read it..
i could actually relate to some of the things Maria (the main character) was feeling and how she led her life..not that i'm a prostitute or anything like that..(better read it.. :p) but the loneliness..and this search for something..the thirst for something new in life..it's hard to explain but i took pleasure in reading the book so much because Maria's explanations on how everyone felt a certain loneliness in them..i cannot completely explain it but it helped me realize a lot of things..
also, Maria's trait of feeling "something" for someone but not expecting anything out of it or anything in return..it had happened so many times already that i think i'm actually growing accustomed to it..pleasure and pain at the same time..but who knows right? :p only time will tell..hahaha..what the hell am i saying??
the only differences i have with Maria (well, apart from the obvious as written above.. :p) were that she knew what she wanted..she had plans in her life and she did something to achieve them..she made efforts to understand the things she didn't fully grasp..and even though she hated was she did, she was not ashamed of what she was..she didn't fear what other people think about her..
..and of course, she had a person who despite everything she was, saw a "light" in her..Ralf Hart the painter whom she fell in love with without expecting anything in return from him..(well, of course, he loved her too..as it always is.. :p)
it's not that i don't have plans or that i don't know what i want..i do, actually..but they're quite vague from where i'm standing..and a fear in me somehow is present..much of it..and i know i have to overcome that..as for the person who will see "light" in me, well, i do not ponder much anymore on that subject..as it was for Maria and Ralf Hart, it will come on the most unexpected places..(cliche, cliche..hmm..haha :p)
picking up the pieces..slowly..and i'm trying my very best :)
anyway, i'm sleepy..as you can see, i'm slowly drifting into nonsense blabbering..so i guess i'll just blog another time..
still, i say, look at the bright side of life and treasure every happiness that comes your way.. :)
God bless :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Sunday, July 30, 2006,11:09 PM
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i seem to be off lately..and especially distracted, for that matter..somehow, this week, i see myself as an epitome of contradiction..feeling so lazy to do anything (especially if it involves academics) but still does everything that is needed to be done..saying one thing and doing the complete opposite..seemingly showing people that i'm happy when in reality, there's this subtle but present feeling of nostalgia..appearing to be focused while inside my head, i'm either a complete mess or a mere blank..
sometimes i ask myself if what i am is only a big lie of what i really am..i mean, i don't know..am i pretending to be something i'm not or am i pretending that i'm somebody else when who i am now is really who i am?..
yeah, i'm pretty much still confused about stuff..
not those stuff..i had gotten over that phase..or so i seemingly think so..
anyway, i need something to distract me from being distracted..it's hard to have an inactive and floating brain that, at the same time is asking why exactly it is distracted in the first place..
..as i've said, contradiction..
anyway, for now, i'll stop wondering and start dreaming..literally in my sleep.. :p who knows? maybe i'm just tired.. :)
gmornin' :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Friday, July 28, 2006,1:26 AM
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need i say more? haha..anyway, it's ok..i'm really happy that classes were suspended..well, in a way, i guess..hahaha.. :) i wish i hadn't come back to manila so soon..i really wanted to stay at batangas.. hayyy..
anyway, i have been totally in love with the band Mae lately..especially their songs: suspension, this is the countdown and mistakes we knew we were making.. :p they're actually a rock band..(juno calls them the farm rock group.. :p or somethin' like that coz they're from a farm..hehehe) anyway, here's one of their songs from the album The Everglow..
Suspension - Mae
Lately I'm alright, and lately I'm not scared.
I figured out that what you do to me feels like I'm floating on air.
I don't need to know right now all I know is I believe
in the very thing that got us here and now I can't leave
Say anything, but say what you mean'cause I'm caught in suspension.
Now I'm wanting this for sure and I'll beg for nothing more.
I'll plan all day and drive all night and love what's in store.
I can't seem to stop this now even if it's not so clear.
And I'll take what I can get, If you want me here.
**Say anything, but say what you mean
when you whisper you want this.
You're eyes tell the same.
We are gaining speed i can barely breathe, cause I'm caught in suspension,
It's enough for me to get excited
It's enough to feel well.
** (twice)
I'm caught in suspension, (suspension)
I'm caught in suspension.
Say anything, but say what you mean
I'm caught in suspension.
I'm caught in suspension
--i dont think the lyrics are complete but there.. :p
if ur interested, just leave a note, hahaha.. :p
take care guys! :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Tuesday, July 25, 2006,1:37 AM
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~ yey..no class tomorrow! :p ~
anyway, it was really nice to go home to batangas after about a month..nakakamiss din naman ung house namin (kahit medyo magulo, haha.. :p) and of course, my family..hehehe.. :p t'was nice to do some catching up with them.. :) they will always be my top priority.. :p sana nga ndi muna ako lumuwas coz wala rin naman pasok tomorrow..hayyy..(ano kayang magawa bukas?? hmmm..)
i'm thinking of changing the layout of my blog..it's far too girly or somethin..haha.. :p but i'll do that when i'm not lazy anymore..for now, i'll just have to stick with it, haha.. :p
anyway, while i was in the bus with my sister and mom, i heard the "old" song kisapmata, the one by rivermaya..na-senti ako..hahaha..weird, but yeah..maybe i just fell in love with bamboo's voice or somethin'..
hala! i still don't have any gifts for carmela and glenna..tsk tsk..patay ako..18th bday pa naman nila...hayy nku! :p panu na yan??? :'(
anyway, there..i can't think of anything to type..bye for the mean time..
look at the bright side! :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Sunday, July 23, 2006,11:08 PM
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as the title suggests, yes, i am bored..
hmm..i'll just type whatever comes to mind..
blank..
blank..
blank..
missing someone..
missing taft avenue at night..
missing my "freedom"..
stupidity..anger..truth..
frustration..
the song, "**** you gently"
sorry..just popped out..
cosca tomorrow..
going home tomorrow..
seeing mom, dad, enzo..
not seeing someone..
remembering..and still thinking..
stupid for typing that..
wanna stop..
will i? yeah..
in a wyl..
still bored..
yeah, still..
and the fact that i am..
leads to somethin' else..
stupid i know..
crazy..
whatever..
i thought i was supposed to stop??
ok ok..stop..NOW.. :p
still bored though..*sigh*
~ isabel ~ posted @
Friday, July 21, 2006,8:58 PM
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~ fun day..thank you girls! hahaha :) ~
anyway, after accounting, carmela and i hung out at amphi (as usual.. :p) we didn't have any envirob class but we still met up with our groupmates, gerard and mike..hahaha.. :) mike had carmela's high school year book coz carmela asked him to get it last weekend..(coz his girlfriend got hers din naman at MC.. :p) super laughtrip coz carmela didn't want geh and i to see her page in the yearbook..(kung nakita nyo lang kmi..as in agawan at hilahan.. :p) hehehe..anyway, we still saw the pics eventually..her pics were not bad naman eh..cute nga nung informal shot nya eh..i did giggle a little..hehe (sori carmela.. :p) we also had some..errr.."jokes"..hehehe..(c geh at mike ba naman..never nawalan nun when they're around :p) made me reveal a bit of my "not so nice" side..wehehehe.. :p but it was all good clean fun..
anyway, mike had to do something so he went on ahead..so geh, carmela and i stayed at Z2 for a while..we looked at carmela's year book and had a kwentuhan session.. :) a while later, amelie and jowee showed up..gerard had to go home na rin so he left..the four of us went to egi so that amelie and jowee cud have some lunch..
--*****
i don't remember what really happened but nagkayayaan mag ice skating..hehehe.. :p i really thought ndi matutuloy coz at first nancy and paulene we're having a hard time deciding..and when they decided that they wud go, jowee suddenly had an appointment..luckily, everything went well and we got to go.. :p
ice skating was super fun..it was nancy, paulene, amelie and jowee's first time but still, masaya..jowee was really good, actually..:p so we had partners..carmela and paulene, jowee and amelie then me and nancy! :p hahaha..we circled the rink for a while then afterwards, they were able to skate at the middle part na rin! :) super fun kahit medyo nakakatakot kasi madulas..but there.. :p (nancy, saya mo student..hehehe.. ;p gud work!)
nancy and amelie had to leave early so naiwan kming apat..carmela and paulene went shopping while me and jowee stayed sa rink (bonding..haha!)..saya..i wish i cud skate as good as the people there..and that one guy..galing grbe.. :0 hehehe..
of course, accidents happen..i slipped..twice pa..hahah..i had just recovered from my lrt incident and here i go with another injury.. :p but it's ok..natawa na lang ako.. :p jowee slipped din daw but i didn't see her.. :p galing nya na nga eh, super.. ;)
anyway, afterwards, jowee and i got a bit lost while finding for our meeting place so we went around a bit..we ended up meeting with carmela and paulene at astroplus..they bought some movies then we went home na rin after.. :p
--**thank you to amelie, nancy, jowee, paulene and carmela.. :) sana maulit ulit.. :p to all you guys, try din kau ICE SKATING.. :) fun..challenging, sobra!**--
on other stuff...hmmm..something's brewing here at home..tsk tsk..i do hope it's really nothing serious..but i'll have to talk to my sister about it.. :p when the time comes..hehehe..
--*****
life is far from perfect..but at least...it's REAL.. (labo!) hehehe.. :)
be happy and treasure that happiness! :) God Bless to all.. :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Tuesday, July 18, 2006,8:44 PM
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need i say more?? i soooo don't want to go to school for many reasons..but hey, what can i do, right? if i skip class, more problems will come so better just go through with everything and be done with it..
funny, i have a lot to do, but i'm still blogging (priorities..nonsense.. :p hahaha)
i'm bored..in a very very weird way..
anyway, comcalc's going to be crappy tomorrow..my test, i mean..i've been studying the whole afternoon (sort of)..but i don't think i get any of it..darn it.. (distracted?? hmmm..yeah..a little whole lot..)
anyway, come what may..i still hope it's gonna ba a good day tomorrow.. :p
God bless pips.. smile and be happy.. :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Sunday, July 16, 2006,9:32 PM
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~ slippery when wet..ouch.. ~
i fell down the lrt stairs this morning..(can you say OUCH!!) the good thing was that dominic was there..he was able to help me not fall down continuously..hehehe..it was really painful..to the point that i couldn't breath properly and i went deaf for a few minutes..luckily, now..i'm feeling a bit better..besides the pain, it was really embarrassing..but i can live with that..ayoko lang tlga kc masakit..hehehe.. :p *it's difficult to sit down and stand up..hayyy..it even hurts when i laugh, hahaha..ouch.. :p*
anyway, i'm praying that things would be better.. :p the rest of the day wasn't that bad though.. kwentuhan with carmela after class..walk-a-thon around campus (haha..)..hmmm..aun, hehehe..actually, to seal the day off, nauntog pa ko sa may mrt station..(wow, wala n tlga ako masabi.. :p) now i'm home.. :) thank you..hehehe..
anyway, i'm still (surprisingly) looking at the bright side..hahaha.. :) as i said, no use being grumpy or sad about things..just be happy and treasure that happiness :)
God bless.. :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Friday, July 14, 2006,6:11 PM
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~ random thoughts..and more nonsense.. ~
things change..it's just the way things are..
but till now, i still think about things..
some make me smile, some don't..most of them confuse me, though..
did i make wrong choices?
or did i make the wrong choice of deciding not to do anything about it?
was there anything at all?
or was it just me?
asking too many questions..thinking too much..
maybe someday, when we're where we should be..
and by some coincidence, our paths cross again..
we'll get to sit down and finally..talk..
whatever happened?
--*
i'm sorry, i'm sorry..i'm not sure
get it off my chest..the story ends..
without you..
--*
sad overwhelms my senses drown
oh i feel dependent..
--*
as i type, jon strikes for the 6th time..
tep talks about something really uncomfortable..
jon strikes again..
tep says "it's vulgar.."
jon says, "what does it have to do with **l*a?"
and now they're singing uptown girl..(where did that come from??)
we laugh..and we're still laughing..
tep tells jon to quit it with his "masculinity"
jon continues..(ikaw ang SPO1..haha!)
with k*r*g stuff..hahaha.. :p ewww..
tita malen enters..tep says, "ma, ang bastos ni jon"
tita says, "dati na.."
...i'm just bored..at sabog na rin..hehehe.. :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Wednesday, July 12, 2006,5:47 PM
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~ bad day..oh well.. :p ~
..walang tubig kninang umaga pagising ko..badtrip..tsk tsk.. :p
..may nawala sa akin..nakita ko nga pero late ko na nahanap..(labo!)
..naligo ako sa ulan sa edsa ulit (kc nga wala daw tubig so pinaliguan na lng ako habang naglalakad.. :p)
..our sales presentation was cancelled..haha..nice one.. :p
..i almost failed my quiz..(whew!)
..classes were suspended right after my last class..(wow, db?? :p)
but anyway, it's ok..hehe..tinatawanan ko n lng..kasi nakakatawa naman talaga.. :p
and being sad won't do anything good anyway..hehehe.. :p
tapus na pati yun..
at sabi nga ng friend ko, "maaayus din ang lahat ng bagay :)"
..now, it's raining really hard again..good thing i'm home.. :p
..i just remembered..everything that happened today was almost the same as that one time..
..the only difference?
..you didn't, you weren't, we didn't and i don't..(labo nanaman..hahaha.. :p)
..sabog lng talaga..
anyway, always (still) look on the bright side! :)
God bless! :p
..be happy..and treasure that happiness! :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
,1:52 PM
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i'll be performing my sales presentation speech for engltri tomorrow..hayy..i'm really nervous..i hope everything would go well and i hope all my work would pay off..
hahaha..i'll be promoting socks by the way (BioFresh..hahah!)..till now, i'm wondering why i chose that as my product..(i guess boredom leaves room for some creativity...or stupidity..whatever is applicable.. :p)
even though i haven't performed yet, i really would like to thank my cousins for all the help they've given..hehehe.. :p they're my models/testimony people..haha.. :)
come what may tomorrow..wish us luck! (amelie, jowee, lj and me..hehehe)..
before i forget, i really had fun during lunch earlier..carmela and i spent some time with our envirob classmates, mike and gerard..thanks guys! laughtrip grabe! :p
God bless to all and always look at the brightside! :)
be happy.. and treasure that happiness.. :)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Tuesday, July 11, 2006,7:39 PM
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~ if this is bad luck, then why am i still smiling? :) ~
everything was going well when i got to school.. i did my thing..1st class was accounting..our papers were supposed to be distributed today but to our dismay, (and ms. chua's as well.. :p) the scanner was broken so no paper yet..prolong the agony..haha.. :p we were glad though, that our solution sheets were returned..mine went missing at first but luckily, i got it back..(and was even introduced to the whole class because of that, hehehe.. :p) i was glad that i got an OK score for my solution sheet.. :)
anyway, accounting was over..envirob was up next..it was our midterms today and we were supposed to take it online (ivle) at first, things were going fine but then when we clicked the submit buttons and our answers were being checked by the system, something went wrong..most of our pages displayed errors..so there, the exam was cancelled (a sleep deprived night put to waste, tsk tsk.. :p) and was to resume on tuesday..--hell week extension-- :p
the bad luck started pouring when i was making my way home..you see, i have this habit of dozing off in the mrt..(the station where i go down is quite far)..and for the first time, i missed my station..(haha! :p) so, i had to go up the over-pass to go back to the opposite station..(hassle, i know but it was my fault so there.. :p) just when i thought things couldn't get any worse, it started raining..haha..so ok, i thought it was fine..i had an umbrella handy and there were tricycles by the station..
...well, i thought wrong, hahaha..so i had to walk in the rain..which was so hard that my umbrella didn't do much to keep me from getting drenched.. :p haha..wow, imaginethat..and i was at edsa the whole time.. :p (now you know why i just finished taking a shower, hehe) and now, as i type this, the sun is shining again, as if nothing happened..heheh.. :p
..so there..it wasn't my best day..but still, i kept smiling.. :) i guess i feel kinda happy..despite all the work this week..it's ok..just always look at the bright side.. :)
after next week, things would hopefully get better.. :)
be happy! hehehe ;p
~ isabel ~ posted @
Thursday, July 06, 2006,2:00 PM
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accounting is over! :) whew..but still, the results aren't out so..i'm still a bit nervous..
...anyway, that's just one work down the drain..still a lot more to go.. :(
(really sleepy now..forgive the nerdiness..)
...hide and seek..haha! :) funny..
...why would i, anyway? i've got nothing to hide..(yes, make yourself believe that.. :p kidding!)..
..nah, i'm not affected anymore.. :p what's done is done..for the moment, anyway..haha.. :p
..right, amelie? (just giving back the favor..haha..)
..anyway, there..sorry, sabog na tlga ako..hahaha..
..(hoping that there will still be) no distractions (for now.. :p)
~ isabel ~ posted @
Wednesday, July 05, 2006,12:06 AM
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