I start all this ranting by saying that I love my sister. She is one of the few persons who have the guts to smack the facts right to my face (Apparently, based on her opinion also, people are sort of afraid of me or maybe how I might react to whatever they'll say..most probably because very few have ever tried, harhar :p). We're not the sweety-sweety mushy type of sisters (except of course when we kid around or need favors, haha! Kidding! :p) but we do talk about a lot of things. Funny things, serious things, taboo things, and even nonsense :p Although we don't always get along and we are almost opposites of each other, I am forever thankful that she's there whatever may happen. Thanks Chi :)
Anyway, it has been a long week and it would be an understatement to say that it was a roller coaster ride of emotions. I could almost see myself stepping off the ledge to the pit of insanity. One moment, everything's fine and I'm minding my own business...I laugh coz of silly things and stupid comments...serious talks come...I tone down then I find myself sobbing like a kid while waiting for the train to come... a few hours later, I snap out of it and quietly plan things that I have to do...Someone talks, I listen and start to find hope again...later, things come crashing and I panic my brains out. When things finally clam down, I blurt out something stupid and again, the gates of hell open.
I walked home a while ago with a lot of stuff going through my mind, including what I might end up "writing" here (that was before I talked with Chi, so everything changed :p). I actually expected myself to blog in detail but why even bother. Besides, doing that might and most probably make things even more complicated so, enough of all that. Waaaaaaa..I'm just glad it's a Friday (or Saturday, for that matter) and the school week is done.
It has been getting colder lately and December is just around the corner. I sense that it will be an uneventful, if not miserable birthday for me (It has been such for about 2 years now and judging from the way things are going, I do not expect anything less). All of that, however, will be the outcome of my doing.
My sister agrees, nonetheless. :p
P.S.
Again, thank you to those who understand. For those who don't, I do not force you to. For those who I've offended and who have been affected by my actions, my deepest apologies. I am only human, and that is not even a good excuse.Labels: a day in my life, birthday, emo, friday, going crazy..., life, mixed, outlet, praying, pressure, release, school, talkshit, weak, worst
~ isabel ~ posted @
Saturday, November 24, 2007,1:19 AM
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Getting this was perfect timing. It made me smile somehow.
"Sometimes you just can't tell someone how you really feel..not because you don't trust them and not because you think they will think you're weird, but because you can never really find the right words to make them understand. It makes you frustrated. People take things a hundred different ways and that's why it's so hard. But if what you're trying to say is meant to be said, it will somehow find a way to be understood." :)
*****
I'm too tired to really say anything. I have really got to get myself back in order.
Thank you to those who still understand :)
Labels: not in the mood for too many labels
~ isabel ~ posted @
Monday, November 19, 2007,10:19 PM
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Upon entering the house, I started to rant about the day to Jon, who happened to be the one who opened up the door for me. I was telling him about our very tedious activity/assignment for Fintrea (Treasury Management). Then he tells me...
"Well, ganyan talaga, Bel. Some things are really difficult...especially...when done last minute."
I could only plead guilty on that remark, haha. Oh well, I should not complain anymore so that's that. Fintrea remains to be my favorite major for this term though, harharhar. :p
*****
Anyway, moving on to some non-acads stuff. At last, after more than a year, my high school friend Ivan and I got to meet last Wednesday. He was supposed to enroll that day (at UP-Manila) so he stopped by at Taft Avenue to catch up on things. We hung around at Starbucks for a while then had lunch at McDo after. We talked about the usual stuff, (high school updates, college life, family, future plans..etc.) as we always do when we get the chance.It was nice to share thoughts with a friend who somehow has a similar situation with me regarding... some things. :)
*****
In my silence, I still have my sentiments. You know what you did. Face the consequences. I know (or at least hope) that you are better than that.
*****
It felt weird. The thought suddenly came out of nowhere as I sat down and minded my own business. I found it predominantly amusing yet it somehow had a tinge of sadness to it. I told a friend.. We had those weird looks upon ourselves, giggled and me? I felt a bit embarrassed...but not ashamed. Yes, it was brief but I was and am still glad. Life does move on eventually. :)
*****
Before I forget:
Happy Birthday Sandy :)
Labels: not in the mood for too many labels
~ isabel ~ posted @
Friday, November 09, 2007,12:19 AM
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I left home (province) this morning feeling really sad. I really did not want to go back here this early and when I waved goodbye at my mom (who was the only one awake when I left home) I really felt (after a looong time) like crying.
Anyway, the day wasn't at all bad. I shared the bus ride with a friend from elementary, Andrew. It's been a really long while and it was fun catching up :) Things have changed a bit but he's still the funny guy I used to know.
Fintrea class was okay although I really am not a big fan of accounting, hehe..not to mention the fact that I was still kinda sleepy. After class, we (Jowee, Soy, Amelie, Stan and Jepoy) ate lunch at Munch Alley. We hung around at school after at north conserve and had a few laughs about a bunch of things and Kokology, haha ;) I just took a nap when I arrived and here I am now trying to at least make progress with my papers. I'm off! :D
*****
Okay, this obviously is loooong overdue. Apologies to Katrina, Paulene and Ali (who tagged me long ago, haha) and those of you who even bother to read my blog and look up stuff here, harhar :) It's funny how it takes me a long time to think of "random" stuff (or maybe I'm just being lazy, again). But anyway, here it goes...
In the 8 facts about you, you share 8 things that your readers don’t know about you.
hen at the end you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going.
– Each blogger must post these rules first.
– Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
– Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 8 things and post these rules.
– At the end of your blog, you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
– Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
1. I used to be really, really fond (well, obsessed might be a better word, haha :p) of Anime (Japanese Animation, for those of you who don't know). I think all that started when I was still young during the days of Princess Sarah, Cedie and others...which later on became Time Quest, Akazukin Cha-Cha, Flame of Recca.. and others, haha! The most I was in to was Fushigi Yuugi, for reasons I really don't get nowadays (I'd like to think that I've become mature about it, haha :p). Maybe it's because it was romantic and mushy. Or maybe I just like Yu Watase's anime style. Back then, I think memorized all the info about all the Star Warriors by heart (like height, age, birthday, locations of the markings in their bodies.. pathetic, I know..haha!). Anyway, I still like Anime, but don't spend as much time with them as I used to. I also liked Samurai X, Ayashi No Ceres, Alice Academy, HunterXHunter, Detective Conan...and...(the list is long so I'll stop here, but you get the picture :p).
2. I'm still on the look out for what I really wanna do and what I'm really passionate about. I've tried to get into stuff starting when I was young. Swimming, gymnastics (well, almost.. but believe it or not, I could do cartwheels till I was in 2nd year High School, haha!), piano lessons (from 1st Grade to 1st year High School) which I loved dearly and really miss, drawing (anything there was to draw, and Anime, of course), among other things. In High School, I joined the choir, learned to play the guitar a bit, went into arts and crafts, and even had a brief stint writing for the school paper (some people actually think I write well, poor souls :p). Now...well, I'm in Finance! hahaha! Sometimes I think I appreciate everything too much (and want to try everything, for that matter) that I fail to find what really tops my list. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the things I do but there's...something missing. For now, I guess the search continues...weeee! :D
3. I have a scar on my chin from falling from a bar during 1st grade (6 stitches, oh yeah! :p) and my left wrist got fractured that same year. Those were the days of pure innocence and bliss. :p
4. I have this weird fondness for pencils, pens, highlighters and notebooks. For the pens, I like variety, that's why I have a jam-packed pencil case (which looks like a little purse, haha!). Pencils, well, I use them for notes and for doodling :p. Highlighters..hmmm..let's just say I have a hard time studying without them, plus, I also love different colors. Notebooks...I like really cute ones but I'd love you if you give me the old version of the Blue Corona notebook, the one with smaller line spaces and without the space for the date. I once cried during high school coz I lost my pencil case in the bus home (Some guy thought it had money so he got it, i think).
5. Despite the fact that I have a short name, (sadly, I don;t have a second name and all my siblings and most of my cousins have one :-/ ) people call me differently. At home, I go by Ate (my bro and sis), Bel (Mom, Dad, relatives) and Bei (my late Lola). High school friends called and still call me Ate Bel/ 'Te Bel. (READ: HIGH SCHOOL! So leave it be if you're not from high school!! haha!) Now in college, I go by Isa, Sabel, and even Sabby or Sab (there were several occasions). I'd really appreciate it if you call me by my real name though. Isabel would be fine, thank you :)
(It was really supposed to be Beatrice, though. haha :p)
6. I contradict myself on a lot of things. For example, there is this urge in me to know (more) yet something inside me believes that knowing (more) would make me suffer and that something inside me would rather settle for mediocrity. I like simplicity yet I am fascinated by complexity. Well, I dunno. I think I think too much sometimes, hehe :)
7. What you see is not always what you get. Does this mean I'm pretentious? Well, I'd like to think that we choose (consciously or subconsciously) what and how we want other people to see us. Besides, everything in this universe must have something more than what meets the eye, otherwise there would be no room for discovery and life would be really boring, haha :D
8. Although I appreciate and love a lot of people, I don't think I've ever fallen in love with anyone yet (I can't believe this is my number 8! HAHAHA! :D La na maisip eh!). Close calls? Hmmm, maybe, but not seriously, I guess. I'd tell you why but I really don't know either. Fear? Maybe. Most probably. ;)
I can't think of 8 people I can tag anymore (it's been so long, almost everyone I know has already done this) so whoever is bored is very welcome to do this :DLabels: 8, bus, Kokology, school
~ isabel ~ posted @
Saturday, November 03, 2007,10:03 PM
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This is a bit childish but..
My TTH Notebook is missing.
My notes for 4 important subjects are all there.
(It's a Blue Corona notebook with plastic cover..
has my TTH schedule on the front page..
has lots of notes and doodles as well, hehe :p)
If anybody happens to see it,
please, please, PLEASE return it to me
or at least surrender it to the Lost and Found Office.
I will love you forever if you return it..
or maybe not love..
uhm..something of a lesser degree, haha!!
Thanks :)
*****
When opportunity knocks at your doorstep
With a really, really good great deal
Would you go for it
Even if you really cannot tell if
You want it or not?
Hmmmmmm...I wonder.
*****
Still no 8 random things, but working on it :p haha!
I really can't think of anything to blog about at the moment
well, except for my missing notes, hahaha! :p
it's really no big deal for some people but i really need those notes coz
however messy they seem to be
there's no notes like my notes for me, hehehe :P
Anyway, if ever i don't get them back
(though i REALLY hope i still will)
I hope it'll help the person who'll get/who has it. :)
SABAW! hahaha! :D
Back to Manila on Saturday,
for FINTREA (favorite major for this term, nyehehe :p)
Vacation was short-lived.. sooo sad.Labels: lost notebook, opportunity
~ isabel ~ posted @
Thursday, November 01, 2007,9:31 PM
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